The venue for this year’s Ig Nobel Prize ceremony honouring science that “makes you laugh, then makes you think” was Harvard’s Sanders Theater. And the first cash prizes in the awards’ 20-year history raised the ugly suspicion that the Ig Nobels will become yet another awards ceremony that’s all about money.
搞笑诺贝尔奖旨在表彰那些“乍看令人发笑,之后发人深省”的科学研究,今年的颁奖典礼在哈佛大学的桑德斯剧场举行。该奖项已有20年历史,今年首次设立奖金,而这也招致了非议,人们怀疑搞笑诺贝尔奖将会成为又一个一切向“钱”看的奖项。
Or maybe not. Because the cash prize, courtesy of a generous benefactor1), was a 10 trillion Zimbabwean dollar note. Last year’s economics prize went to the geniuses who rendered that note virtually worthless2); this year’s went to the bosses of Goldman Sachs, AIG, Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns and Magnetar, for their bold work with new and innovative financial products3).
或者也未必。因为这笔由一名慷慨的捐助者提供的奖金,不过是10万亿元津巴布韦纸币。去年的经济学奖就颁给了那帮让这种纸币变得一文不值的天才们;而今年的经济学奖则授予高盛、美国国际集团、雷曼兄弟、贝尔斯登和迈格尼塔的高管们,以“表彰”他们在金融产品上的大胆创新。
[Public Health] 公共卫生奖
Like the other Nobels, the Ig Nobel’s committee can take its time4) to make an award. Manuel Barbeito, Charles Matthews and Larry Taylor of the Industrial Health and Safety Office at Fort Detrick, Maryland, for instance, were honoured for a laboratory peril first recognised in 1967.
和其他诺贝尔奖一样,搞笑诺贝尔奖评审委员会评奖并不在乎时间的早晚。比如说,马里兰州德瑞克堡工业卫生与安全署的曼纽尔·巴尔贝托、查尔斯·马修斯和拉里·泰勒就因为在1967年首次确认实验室存在的一种危险状况而获奖。
“A scientist who had never given us any problems grew a beard when he was working in containment lab,” Barbeito explains. The scientist refused to shave, because there was no evidence that his facial fuzz posed a hazard. So Barbeito and three volunteers grew their own beards for 73 days, then sprayed them with harmless bacteria and demonstrated that it was harder to wash the germs out of a beard than off clean skin.
“有一名科学家,从不给我们惹麻烦,不过当他在隔离实验室工作时,他把胡子蓄了起来。”巴尔贝托解释说。这位科学家就是不愿刮胡子,因为没有证据表明他的胡须会带来危害。于是,巴尔贝托就和三名志愿者连续73天不刮胡子,然后在胡须上喷洒无害细菌,并证实把细菌从胡须上清除掉要比从干净皮肤上清除掉更难。
Not content with that, they put a fake beard on a mannequin5), sprayed it with pathogenic6) bacteria, and exposed it to hapless chickens and guinea pigs, some of which in due course got sick. Their bearded colleague capitulated7), and shaved.
但他们对此结果并不满意。于是,他们又在一个人体模型上装了一副假胡须,并在上面喷上致病菌,然后使倒霉的小鸡和豚鼠与之接触,其中一些到了一定时候自然就发病了。他们那位留胡子的同事只好“缴械投降”,把胡子刮掉了。
[Chemistry and Management] 化学奖与管理学奖
Eric Adams of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Scott Socolofsky of Texas A&M University in College Station and Stephen Masutani of the University of Hawaii at Manoa didn’t have to wait quite so long for their moment of glory. A decade ago, they collaborated with the US Minerals Management Service and 23 oil companies to study the effects of an oil spill in deep water, releasing 60 cubic metres of various blends of oil and natural gas at a depth of 800 metres in the sea off Norway. They were surprised to learn that ocean currents trapped mixtures of oil and bubbles in plumes about 300 metres above the seabed. But not as surprised as the people who shared the chemistry prize with them: BP, which this spring validated those results over a far larger scale and longer time in the Gulf of Mexico.
对于麻省理工学院的埃里克·亚当斯、得克萨斯州农工大学学院站的斯科特·索科洛夫斯基以及夏威夷大学马诺分校的史蒂芬·马苏塔尼而言,这一光荣时刻的到来,并没有让他们等待太久。十年前,他们与美国矿产管理局以及23家石油公司一起,围绕深水区石油泄漏所造成的影响开展了一项研究。他们在挪威沿海800米深处释放了60立方米石油与天然气的多种混合物。然后他们惊奇地发现,在海底上方约300米处,洋流把石油与气泡的混合物一缕一缕地包裹了起来。但还有比他们对此更感到意外的,那就是与他们分享奖项的另一位化学奖得主——英国石油公司:就在今年春天,该公司在墨西哥湾用事实验证了这些研究成果,只不过这个验证过程规模要大很多,时间也长得多。
Perhaps BP, sure to be interested, could also have benefited from the research that earned this year’s management prize. Alessandro Pluchino, Andrea Rapisarda and Cesare Garofalo of the University of Catania, Italy, took a fresh look at the Peter Principle, which suggests that people working in hierarchical organisations get promoted repeatedly until they reach a post in which they are incompetent, where they remain indefinitely. Using game theory, the three showed “the best ways for improving the efficiency of a given organisation are either to promote each time a random agent, or to promote randomly the best and worst members”.
英国石油公司肯定会对荣膺今年管理学奖的研究感兴趣,而且说不定它还能从中获益呢。意大利卡塔尼亚大学的亚利山德罗·普卢基诺、安德烈·拉皮萨尔达和切萨雷·加罗法洛重新研究了彼得原理。这一原理认为,在一个等级分明的组织内工作的人可以一直晋升,直至升到一个他们不能胜任的职位,并将永久地占据这一职位。三位研究人员利用博弈理论,发现“增加某一组织工作效能的最佳途径是:要么每次随机提升一名雇员,要么在最好和最差的人员中任意提拔”。
[Biology and Physics] 生物学奖和物理学奖
New Scientist pegged8) Gareth Jones of the University of Bristol, UK, as a prospective Ig Nobel laureate as soon as we spotted his epic paper Fellatio by fruit bats prolongs copulation9) time in PLoS One a year ago—and that was even before we saw the accompanying XXX10)-rated video. Regrettably, the ceremony’s “V-chip11)” meant that Jones couldn’t show the raunchy12) clip, and he wasn’t even allowed to re-enact it with hand puppets, but he did make the best-received acceptance speech of the night. “Thank you for this prize,” he said. “I’m blown away.”
一年前,英国布里斯托大学的加雷思·琼斯在《PLoS One》杂志上发表了《果蝠口交延长了交配时间》一文,《新科学家》一看到这篇伟大的论著,就笃定此人有望摘得搞笑诺贝尔奖桂冠——而那时我们甚至都还没看到文章附带的限制级视频呢。遗憾的是,由于颁奖典礼“拒绝暴力和色情”,因此琼斯无法现场播放这个猥琐的短片,甚至连用手控木偶演示也不行,不过他的获奖演说却是当晚最受欢迎的。“谢谢为我颁这个奖,”他说,“这太让我吃惊了。”
Other hard sciences were also recognised. Dunedin, New Zealand, is a hilly town whose footpaths can become treacherous when icy, so the local council advises pedestrians to wear socks over their shoes to get better grip. Unable to locate any research supporting the idea, Lianne Parkin, Sheila Williams and Patricia Priest of the University of Otago in Dunedin enlisted passers-by to put the socks-over-shoes approach to the test one winter’s day.
其他硬科学领域的一些研究也受到了认可。新西兰的达尼丁是一座山城,城里的人行道一到结冰时就变得很危险,于是当地议会劝说行人在鞋子外面穿上袜子,这样鞋子抓地就会更牢了。由于找不到任何研究支持这一观点,达尼丁奥塔戈大学的利亚诺·帕金、希拉·威廉姆斯和帕特里夏·普里斯特就在某个冬天招募了一些过路人,来验证这个“袜套鞋”方法。
The trial subjects did report better traction, but also reported feeling slightly ridiculous. Most declined to keep the socks on for the rest of their walk, including one young man who promptly fell on leaving the assessment area. But their demonstration of the benefits of friction earned the researchers the physics prize.
受试对象的确反映这样走得更稳了,但也表示觉得有点可笑。大多数人都拒绝在接下来的行走中继续把袜子套在鞋上,其中包括一名刚离开评估路段就立马摔倒的男青年。不过,对摩擦力益处的示范却让这些研究人员获得了物理学奖。
[Peace and Medicine] 和平奖与医学奖
We weren’t told what the unfortunate New Zealander’s reaction to his pratfall13) was. But it wouldn’t be surprising if he’d emitted a few choice words. Did it make him feel better? Richard Stephens, John Atkins and Andrew Kingston of Keele University, UK, were wondering something similar when they asked volunteers to immerse a hand in icy water and to either swear or to say something neutral. Saying something unprintable “increased pain tolerance, increased heart rate and decreased perceived pain compared with not swearing”, they reported in NeuroReport, earning them the peace prize.
那位不幸的新西兰人对自己摔倒在地、颜面尽失作何感想,我们不得而知。不过,要是他口中爆出一两个脏字,也不足为怪。这样会不会使他好受一点?英国基尔大学的理查德·斯蒂芬森、约翰·阿特金斯和安德鲁·金斯顿也在思考类似的问题。他们要求志愿者将手伸进冰水中,然后让他们要么咒骂一声,要么心平气和地说两句无关痛痒的话。之后他们在《神经学报告》杂志中撰文指出,说出难登大雅之堂的话“相比不骂骂咧咧,能增强对疼痛的忍耐力,加快心跳速度,减轻疼痛感”。这一项研究为他们赢得了和平奖。
And having fun can take your mind off your worries too. Simon Rietveld of the University of Amsterdam and Ilja van Beest of Tilburg University, both in the Netherlands, asked young women with asthma14) what symptoms they felt while waiting to ride a rollercoaster, and how they felt after they got off. They found that the women felt more wheezy15) before the ride than after—even when measurements showed that their lung function was actually worse. The research earned them this year’s medicine prize.
另外,玩得开心也能让人忘记烦恼。荷兰阿姆斯特丹大学的西蒙·里特韦尔和提尔堡大学的伊尔亚·范比斯特询问患有哮喘病的年轻女性,她们在等着坐过山车时自觉有何症状,从过山车上下来后感觉又怎么样。他们发现,女性感觉在坐过山车前要比下来之后喘得更厉害些——尽管检查结果显示她们的肺功能在下车后实际变得更差。此项研究让他们拿到了本年度的医学奖。
[Engineering and Transportation Planning] 工程学奖和运输规划奖
The engineering prize went to a trio of researchers who set out to find out what ails whales—no mean feat16). Collecting samples “from large, migratory17), water-bound mammals has obvious logistical, welfare and cost implications”, wrote Karina Acevedo-Whitehouse and Agnes Roche-Gosselin of the Zoological Society of London, and Diane Gendron of the National Polytechnic Institute of Baja California in Animal Conservation. Rather than trying to catch whales to take samples from them, they attached Petri dishes18) and sterilized19) plastic sheets to a 3-kilogram model helicopter, which they used to buzz the whales in the hope of collecting “exhaled breath condensate” from their blowholes. Breath condensate? Whale snot20)—which the team harvested successfully from no fewer than 22 whales.
一个由三人组成的研究团队荣获工程学奖。他们力图要弄清楚是什么在折磨鲸鱼——这可绝非易事。来自伦敦动物学协会的卡林娜·阿塞韦多-怀特霍斯和阿格尼丝·罗切-戈瑟兰,以及来自下加利福尼亚国家理工学院的黛安·根德龙在《动物保护》杂志上撰文称,“从有迁徙习性的大型水生哺乳动物中”采集样本,“显然会带来一系列后勤、福利及成本方面的问题”。因此,他们并未试图把鲸鱼抓来后再从其身上采集标本,而是把皮氏培养皿和消过毒的塑料薄片附着在一架三公斤重的直升机模型上,然后使飞机对鲸鱼发出嗡嗡声,希望藉此从它们的呼吸孔中收集到“呼气凝结物”。呼气凝结物?就是鲸鱼的鼻涕——该团队成功收集了多达22头鲸鱼的鼻涕。
A number of former Ig Nobel winners returned to the scene of their former glory—including Toshiyuki Nakagaki of Future University Hakodate in Japan, who this year shared in a second Ig Nobel triumph. In 2008 he shared the cognitive science prize for showing that slime moulds21) can find the fastest path through a maze to find food. This year his group showed that slime mould “forms networks with comparable efficiency, fault tolerance and cost to those of real-world infrastructure network—in this case, the Tokyo rail system”. This research earned them the prize for transportation planning.
许多往届搞笑诺贝尔奖得主也重返他们曾经载誉而归的颁奖现场——这里面包括日本函馆未来大学的中垣俊之,他今年再度与别人分享了一项搞笑诺贝尔奖。2008年,他由于证明黏液菌能够在迷宫中找到寻觅食物的最快路径,而与别人共同获得认知科学奖。今年,他的研究小组又证明黏液菌“能构建网络,该网络在效能、故障容差及成本方面堪比现实世界基础建设网络——在该情况下,指的是东京铁路系统”。这一研究为他们赢得了运输规划奖。
1. benefactor [5benI7fAktE] n. 捐助者,赠送者
2. 在2008年的金融危机中,冰岛的银行业全线崩溃。2009年的搞笑诺贝尔经济学奖就分别授予了冰岛四家银行的管理员和审计员。他们的获奖理由是:他们向世人证明了小银行能迅速成长为大银行,大银行也能迅速堕落为小银行。在此次金融危机中,小国津巴布韦受到牵连,其通货膨胀率迅速上升,货币急剧贬值,新发行的货币很快就变得一文不值。
3. 以这五家为首的金融机构高层主管们被认为是金融危机的“幕后元凶”,此次授予他们经济学奖是为了“表彰”他们“替全球经济创造出了一种获利最大、风险最小的投资方式”。当然这里是讽刺他们的反语。
4. take one’s time:不着急;不慌忙;慢吞吞 5. mannequin [5mAnIkIn] n. 人体模型
6. pathogenic [7pAWE5dVenIk] adj. 致病的,发病的 7. capitulate [kE5pItFuleIt] vi. 有条件投降,认输
8. peg [pe^] vt. 把……认定标出,把……归类 9. copulation [5kCpju7leIFEn] n. 交配
10. XXX:(青少年禁看的)X级片或内容
11. V-chip [vi:tFIp] n. 能阻止收看过度暴力或性感的电视节目的电脑晶片或其他电子装置
12. raunchy [5rC:ntFI] adj. 粗俗的,淫秽的 13. pratfall [5prAtfC:l] n. 屁股着地的摔倒,不像样的失态
14. asthma [5AsmE] n. [医] 哮喘 15. wheezy [5(h)wi:zI] adj. 喘息的,气喘的
16. no mean feat:了不起的事,伟大的成就 17. migratory [5maI^rEtErI] adj. 迁移的,流浪的
18. Petri dish:皮氏培养皿(实验室用于培养细菌等的有盖小玻璃盆)
19. sterilized [5sterI7laIzd] adj. 已消毒的,已灭菌的
20. snot [snCt] n. 鼻涕 21. slime mould:黏菌,黏液菌