These are tough economic times in America and elsewhere. If you're like me, you're saving money any way you can. I've cancelled my 2)cable, invested in a good pair of 3)binoculars and started watching my neighbor's TV. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In this harsh economic climate, it's important to have a job, any job. But finding a job isn't easy, especially since so many companies are giving their employees—even the male ones—4)pink slips. Competition for jobs is so intense that chess 5)champ 6)Vishwanathan Anand has been flooded with applications, all because someone wrote that he has “good openings.”
With all the competition, it's vital for job seekers to give themselves an edge. That's why I've decided to offer a few tips to help people stand out from the crowd. Some of these tips may seem obvious, but, trust me, they're often overlooked.
Tip #1: Learn to speak English. When the economy was strong, some folks were able to find decent jobs in America by knowing just three words of English: “Me want job.” Others, realizing the importance of grammar, tried a little harder: “Me wants job.” These days, three words of English aren't enough to secure a job in any part of America outside 7)Miami. Job seekers must learn at least six words, particularly these six: “Would you like 8)fries with that?” They may seem like easy words, but some immigrants really struggle with them. A few have been fired from fast-food restaurants for repeatedly asking customers, “Would you like flies with that?” The restaurants, as you can imagine, received many customer complaints, such as the one from a 9)West Virginia man who threw his meal at the manager, shouting: “I thought I was getting flies with my 10)burger, not fries.”
提示一：学讲英语。经济繁荣的时候，一些人仅仅凭着这三个英语单词：“Me want job（我要工作）”就可以在美国找到体面的工作。而其他那些意识到语法重要性的人，则会稍稍努力一下，说出：“Me wants job（我想要工作）”。但这些年头里，在美国的任何一个地方，迈阿密除外，这三个英语单词已经不足以用来保住工作了。求职者一定要学会至少六个英语单词，特别是这六个：“Would you like fries with that？（你喜欢配炸薯条吗？）”这些词看起来可能很简单，但有些移民真的拿这几个单词没辙。有些在快餐店工作的人就因为反复询问顾客“你喜欢配‘苍蝇'吗”而被解雇了。你可以想象一下，那些餐馆收到了多少顾客的投诉，甚至于有个来自西维吉尼亚州的男人将他的餐食直接扔向经理，吆喝道：“不是说这汉堡的配菜是苍蝇吗，咋又配薯条了。”
Tip #2: Go easy on the tattoos and 11)body piercing. Two or three are OK, but when your entire body is green, the only people you're likely to impress are environmentalists. Well, perhaps a few others too, but they probably won't offer you a job, unless one of them is a farmer and, with planting season coming around, needs another 12)scarecrow. (Yes, I know: some tattoos are works of art. In fact, Leonardo Da Vinci first tattooed the Mona Lisa on a friend's backside. Unfortunately 13)nipple rings weren't common in those days, so he couldn't hang his friend in a gallery.)