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被拒绝之后…… Rejection and How to Handle It

  推销产品、保险被拒、找工作被拒绝……加上“本期专题”传授的七招,这个世界真是充满拒绝啊!
  没错,人的一生总会遇到各种被拒绝的情况,而被拒绝也并不好受。如何不被这种消极情绪打倒,并化悲愤为动力?小编马上为你支招——
  
  Harry Potter was rejected. So were Bella and Edward. If authors J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer hadn't kept trying with publisher after publisher, we'd all have missed out on some great adventures.
  哈利·波特曾经被拒绝,贝拉和 爱德华也一样。如果作家J·K·罗琳和斯蒂芬妮·梅尔不试着联系一家又一家的出版社,我们就会错过几段精彩的大冒险。
 
  Life is about going for things. And when we do, rejection is always a possibility.
  人生在世,总要有所追求。在追求的过程中,被拒绝是常有的事。
  
  Big or Small, Rejection Affects Us All
  大事小事,被距总受伤
 
被拒绝之后…… Rejection and How to Handle It  Rejection doesn't have to be about the big stuff like not getting into your top college, or not getting asked to prom[班级舞会]. Everyday situations can lead to feelings of rejection, too, like if your joke didn't get a laugh, if no one remembered to save you a seat at the lunch table, or if the person you really like talks to everyone but you.
  被拒绝的不一定是大事,如没考进顶尖大学或没有被邀请参加舞会。日常生活也可以让人产生被拒绝的感觉,比如你讲的笑话没能引起笑声,吃午饭时没有人记得帮你留位,或者你很喜欢的人跟所有人聊天,就是不理你之类的。
 
  But being rejected doesn't mean someone isn't liked, valued, or important. It just means that one time, in one situation, with one person, things didn't work out.
  然而被拒绝不代表一个人不受欢迎、不被重视或不重要。这只说明就此一次,你与某人在某一种情况下进展得不顺利罢了。
 
  Rejection hurts. But it's impossible to avoid it altogether. People who become too afraid of rejection might hold back from going after something they want. Sure, they avoid rejection, but they're also 100% guaranteed to miss out on what they want but won't try for.
  虽然被拒绝并不好受,但这是无法避免的。过于害怕被拒绝的人也许会对他们追求的事物戛然止步。没错,他们避免了被拒绝,但这样做必定会错过他们所追求、但没有尝试去获得的东西。
  
  How to Cope
  如何应对
 
  The better we get at dealing with rejection, the less it affects us. So how can you build that ability to cope? Here are some ideas:
  被拒绝之后,我们处理得越妥当,它对我们的影响就越小。怎样培养应对能力呢?以下是一些建议:
  
   Be Honest
   诚实面对

 
  Coping well with rejection involves working with two things: how you feel and what you think.
  妥善处理被拒绝要从两件事情着手:你的感受和你的想法。
 
  Let's start with feelings: If you get rejected, acknowledge[承认] it to yourself. Don't try to brush off[刷掉,漠视] the hurt or pretend it's not painful. Instead of thinking “I shouldn't feel this way,” think about how normal it is to feel like you do, given your situation.
  让我们先从感受开始:如果被拒绝了,就向自己承认这个事实吧。不要对伤痛置之不理或假装若无其事。不要想“我不应该有这种感觉”,在你的处境下,有这样的感觉是很正常的。
 
  Notice how intense your feelings are. Did this rejection upset you a lot? Or just a little? Cry if you want to—it's a natural way to release emotion.
  留心观察你的受挫感有多强烈。这次被拒绝让你非常难过吗?或者只有一点点不快?如果想哭就哭吧——这是一种释放情绪的自然方法。
 
  Now, move on to name what you're feeling. For example: “I feel really disappointed that I didn't get chosen for the school play. I wanted it so badly, and I tried so hard. I feel left out because my friends made it and I didn't.”
  接着说出你的感觉。例如:“校园剧没有选上我,我真的很失望。我很渴望得到角色,也很努力去尝试。我觉得自己被落下了,因为朋友们都选上了,唯独我没有。”
 
  If you want, tell someone else what happened and how you feel about it. Pick someone who will listen and be supportive.
  告诉别人发生了什么事情以及自己的感受吧,如果你希望这样做的话。向那些愿意聆听并支持你的人倾诉一下。
  
   Be Positive[积极的]
   保持乐观
 
  When you're dealing with a painful emotion like rejection, it's easy to get caught up in the bad feeling. But dwelling on[老是想着] the negative[消极的] stuff can feel like living the experience over and over again. Not only does it keep hurting, it becomes harder to get past the rejection.
  在面对被拒绝这类痛苦的情感时,人们很容易陷入消极状态。但老想着消极的事情就像让人一次又一次地经历伤心事。这不仅难受,也令人更难摆脱被拒绝的困境。
 
  So admit how you feel but don't dwell on it. Avoid talking or thinking about it nonstop. Why? Negative thinking influences our expectations and how we act. It certainly doesn't inspire a person to try again.
  所以承认自己的真实感受吧,但不要老想着它。避免整天谈论或想起这件事情。为什么?因为消极的想法会影响我们的预期以及行动。这样当然会打击人们再次尝试(的热情)。

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