To Theo van Gogh
Dear Theo,
There is something on my mind that I want to tell you about. You may perhaps know something of it already and it will not be news to you. I wanted to let you know that I fell so much in love with 1)Kee Vos this summer that I can find no other words for it than, “It is just as if Kee Vos were the closest person to me and I the closest person to Kee Vos.” But when I told her this, she replied, “never, no, never”, and said that her past and her future remained as one to her so that she could never return my feelings.
Then I was in a tremendous 2)dilemma about what to do. Should I 3)resign myself to that “never, no, never”, or consider the matter not yet settled and 4)done with, keep in good heart and not give up?
I chose the latter. And to this day I do not regret this approach, although I am still up against that “never, no, never.” Since then, of course, I have had to 5)put up with quite a few of “life’s little troubles,” which, had they been written about in a book, might well have served to amuse some people, but which if one experiences them oneself must be 6)deemed anything but pleasant.
亲爱的提奥： 
我想告诉你我的想法。你也许已经知道一些了，它对于你并不新鲜。我想让你知道，这个夏天我深深地爱上了表姐凯•沃斯，除了那句“仿佛凯•沃斯是我生命中最亲近的人，而我也是她生命中最亲近的人”，我找不到任何其他的话来形容。但当我跟她说这些时，她回答说：“不，我们永远都不可能！”她还说，她的将来会像她的过去一样，她永远是别人的妻子，所以永远无法回报我的感情。
然后，对于这个非常为难的境况，我不知道该怎么做。我应该因为她那句“不，我们永远都不可能！”而放弃吗？还是应该把这件事看成是还未结束的，保持着良好的心态，不放弃对她的追求？
我选择了后者。直到今天我都不后悔我的这个选择，尽管我仍面临“不，我们永远都不可能！”的局面。当然，从那以后我不得不忍受相当多的“生活小麻烦”，它们若是被写进书里，也许能引人发笑，但若是亲身经历，这些事一点都不令人愉快。
However, to this day I am glad that I left the resignation, or the “how not to do it” method, to those who have a mind for it and for myself kept in good heart. You will understand that in a case like this it is surprisingly difficult to tell what one can, may and must do. Yet “we pick up the scent as we wander about, not as we sit 7)idly by.”
The only one to say to me, and that very informally and privately, that there really might be a chance for me if I worked hard and made progress, was someone from whom I least expected it: Uncle Cent. He was pleased with the way in which I reacted to Kee’s “never, no, never”, that is not8)making heavy weather of it but taking it in quite good humour, and said 9)for instance, “Don’t give 10)grist to the never, no, never mills which Kee has set up. I wish her all the best, but I rather hope those mills will 11)go bankrupt.”
Anyway, I hope to go on doing, and 12)cast out 13)despondency and gloom, meanwhile working hard, and ever since I met her, I have been getting on much better with my work as I feel I shall succeed.
I have the feeling that I’m going to have an immense amount of difficulty with the older people, who consider the matter settled and done with now and will try to force me to drop it.
然而直到今天，我很高兴自己把放弃以及“怎么放弃”这些麻烦留给那些意图要我这样做的人。而我自己，则保持着良好的心态。你明白，在这样的情况下，要判断一个人可以、也许以及必须做什么是出乎意料地困难。但是“我们只有四处搜寻才可能找到线索，光闲坐着毫无用处。”
唯一在非正式场合偷偷跟我说，如果我努力并且获得进步就有机会赢得她的芳心的人是森特叔叔，他是我最想不到会支持我的人。他很满意我对凯那句“不，我们永远都不可能！”的反应——我没有因此而愁云惨雾起来，而是以良好的心态面对。他跟我说了不少，其中有这句话：“别理会凯搭起来的‘永远不可能’的藩篱，我祝她一切都好，不过我更希望她的藩篱早日倒掉。”
无论怎样，我希望继续追求她，希望抛掉失望和悲伤，同时努力工作。自从遇上她，我的工作状态好多了，因为我想我应该会成功的。
我有一种感觉，我将从长辈那里遇到很大的阻挠，他们认为我和她的事情已经解决了，结束了，他们将强迫我放弃她。
14)For the time being, however, I think they’ll go about it very gently, keeping me 15)dangling and 16)fobbing me off with fair words until 17)Uncle and Aunt Stricker’s big 18)silver wedding celebration in December is over. I fear they will be taking measures to get rid of me.
However, I do believe that they are positively against it and I wanted to make that clear to you. They will try to make sure that Kee and I neither see nor speak or write to each other, because they know very well that if we saw, spoke or wrote to each other, there would be a chance of Kee changing her mind. Kee herself thinks she will never change her mind. The older people are trying to convince me that she cannot change it, and yet they fear such a change.
The older people will change their minds about this affair, not when Kee changes her attitude but when I have become somebody who earns at least1000 19)guilders a year.
Now you will realize that I hope to 20)leave no stone unturned that might bring me closer to her, and that is my intention.
To go on loving her
Until in the end she loves me too.
The more she disappears the more she appears.
Theo, are you by any chance in love as well? I hope you are. Love is something so positive, so strong, and so real that it is as impossible for one who loves to take back that feeling as it is to take his own life. I think that nothing awakens us to the reality of life so much as true love. Indeed when a man falls seriously in love, it is the discovery of a new 21)hemisphere. Well, old boy, go and fall in love yourself and tell me about it some time.
A handshake in my thoughts, and write soon and believe me,
Ever yours,
Vincent
然而暂时来说，在斯特里克舅舅和舅妈十二月的银婚庆典结束以前，他们将很温和地处理这件事，用动听的话来拖延、糊弄我。我害怕他们将采取行动来摆脱我。
然而，我确实相信长辈们很断然地反对我的行为，我必须让你清楚这种状况。他们将尽力确保凯和我不再见面、交谈或通信，因为他们非常清楚，要是我们见面、交谈或通信，凯就可能改变主意。凯自认为决不会改变主意。长辈们正努力让我相信她不会改变主意，然而他们又很害怕她真的会改变主意。
即使凯改变态度，长辈们也不会改变主意，除非我变成一个年收入至少1000荷兰盾（约4520元）的人。
现在你该意识到我会用尽办法接近她了吧。我的意图就是如此。
我会继续爱她
直到最后她也爱上我。
她越是从我眼皮底下消失，就越浮现在我脑海里。
提奥，你是否也爱着什么人？我希望你在恋爱。爱情是一种如此积极、强大、真实的东西，以至于那些深爱的人不可能收回爱的感觉，因为那意味着剥夺生命。我认为，没有任何东西能像真爱那样唤醒我们面对生活里的现实。事实上，当一个人深陷在爱里，他将发现一个全新的领域。好了，大男孩，自己去体验爱吧，将来告诉我你的经历。
想象着和你握手。尽快回信，并且相信我的话吧。
你永远的,
文森特
小资料
19世纪伟大的艺术巨匠文森特·梵·高（Vincent van Gogh，1853-1890）出生在荷兰一个乡村牧师家庭。他是后印象派的三大巨匠（编者注：法国保罗·塞尚［1839-1906]、法国保罗·高更［1848-1903］、文森特·梵·高）之一。
梵高生性善良，同情穷人，早年曾自费到一个矿区里去当过教士，跟矿工一样吃最差的伙食，一起睡在地板上。矿坑爆炸时，他曾冒死救出一个重伤的矿工。他的这种过分认真的牺牲精神引起了教会的不安，终于把他撤了职。这样，他才又回到绘画事业上来。
1881年，梵高返回父母居住地埃顿，开始了绘画的学习和创作，期间他爱上了刚刚丧夫的表姐凯，他们很谈得来，但当他提出要和她结婚时，被拒绝了！次年，他结识了一名妓女，出于对其悲惨生活的同情，梵高决定和她一起过平静的生活。所有人都反对他们的结合，甚至是提奥。他们最终还是分手了。传闻为了留住这个女子，他还曾割下右耳献给她以表诚心。 冷酷和污浊的现实终于使这个敏感而热情的艺术家患了间歇性精神错乱。1890年7月23日他自杀了，几天后身亡，享年37岁。几个月后，曾经把自己全部热爱和物力献给他的提奥也死去了。他们一同葬在奥维尔墓园。人们说：提奥是为了梵高而生的……
梵高全部杰出的、富有独创性的作品，都是在他生命最后的6年中完成的。他最初的作品，情调常是低沉的，可是后来，他大量的作品色彩鲜明，好像要用欢快的歌声来慰藉人世的苦难，以表达他强烈的理想和希望。梵高一生只卖出过一幅油画，他近十年的艺术创作都是在提奥的资助下进行的。