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亲爱的提奥 To Theo van Gogh

  To Theo van Gogh
  Dear Theo,
  There is something on my mind that I want to tell you about. You may perhaps know something of it already and it will not be news to you. I wanted to let you know that I fell so much in love with 1)Kee Vos this summer that I can find no other words for it than, “It is just as if Kee Vos were the closest person to me and I the closest person to Kee Vos.” But when I told her this, she replied, “never, no, never”, and said that her past and her future remained as one to her so that she could never return my feelings.
  Then I was in a tremendous 2)dilemma about what to do. Should I 3)resign myself to that “never, no, never”, or consider the matter not yet settled and 4)done with, keep in good heart and not give up?
  I chose the latter. And to this day I do not regret this approach, although I am still up against that “never, no, never.” Since then, of course, I have had to 5)put up with quite a few of “life’s little troubles,” which, had they been written about in a book, might well have served to amuse some people, but which if one experiences them oneself must be 6)deemed anything but pleasant.

Vincent van Gogh 文森特·梵·高  我想告诉你我的想法。你也许已经知道一些了,它对于你并不新鲜。我想让你知道,这个夏天我深深地爱上了表姐凯•沃斯,除了那句“仿佛凯•沃斯是我生命中最亲近的人,而我也是她生命中最亲近的人”,我找不到任何其他的话来形容。但当我跟她说这些时,她回答说:“不,我们永远都不可能!”她还说,她的将来会像她的过去一样,她永远是别人的妻子,所以永远无法回报我的感情。

  However, to this day I am glad that I left the resignation, or the “how not to do it” method, to those who have a mind for it and for myself kept in good heart. You will understand that in a case like this it is surprisingly difficult to tell what one can, may and must do. Yet “we pick up the scent as we wander about, not as we sit 7)idly by.”
  The only one to say to me, and that very informally and privately, that there really might be a chance for me if I worked hard and made progress, was someone from whom I least expected it: Uncle Cent. He was pleased with the way in which I reacted to Kee’s “never, no, never”, that is not8)making heavy weather of it but taking it in quite good humour, and said 9)for instance, “Don’t give 10)grist to the never, no, never mills which Kee has set up. I wish her all the best, but I rather hope those mills will 11)go bankrupt.”
  Anyway, I hope to go on doing, and 12)cast out 13)despondency and gloom, meanwhile working hard, and ever since I met her, I have been getting on much better with my work as I feel I shall succeed.
  I have the feeling that I’m going to have an immense amount of difficulty with the older people, who consider the matter settled and done with now and will try to force me to drop it.


  14)For the time being, however, I think they’ll go about it very gently, keeping me 15)dangling and 16)fobbing me off with fair words until 17)Uncle and Aunt Stricker’s big 18)silver wedding celebration in December is over. I fear they will be taking measures to get rid of me.
  However, I do believe that they are positively against it and I wanted to make that clear to you. They will try to make sure that Kee and I neither see nor speak or write to each other, because they know very well that if we saw, spoke or wrote to each other, there would be a chance of Kee changing her mind. Kee herself thinks she will never change her mind. The older people are trying to convince me that she cannot change it, and yet they fear such a change.
  The older people will change their minds about this affair, not when Kee changes her attitude but when I have become somebody who earns at least1000 19)guilders a year.
  Now you will realize that I hope to 20)leave no stone unturned that might bring me closer to her, and that is my intention.
  To go on loving her
  Until in the end she loves me too.
  The more she disappears the more she appears.
  Theo, are you by any chance in love as well? I hope you are. Love is something so positive, so strong, and so real that it is as impossible for one who loves to take back that feeling as it is to take his own life. I think that nothing awakens us to the reality of life so much as true love. Indeed when a man falls seriously in love, it is the discovery of a new 21)hemisphere. Well, old boy, go and fall in love yourself and tell me about it some time.
  A handshake in my thoughts, and write soon and believe me,
  Ever yours,


  19世纪伟大的艺术巨匠文森特·梵·高(Vincent van Gogh,1853-1890)出生在荷兰一个乡村牧师家庭。他是后印象派的三大巨匠(编者注:法国保罗·塞尚[1839-1906]、法国保罗·高更[1848-1903]、文森特·梵·高)之一。
  1881年,梵高返回父母居住地埃顿,开始了绘画的学习和创作,期间他爱上了刚刚丧夫的表姐凯,他们很谈得来,但当他提出要和她结婚时,被拒绝了!次年,他结识了一名妓女,出于对其悲惨生活的同情,梵高决定和她一起过平静的生活。所有人都反对他们的结合,甚至是提奥。他们最终还是分手了。传闻为了留住这个女子,他还曾割下右耳献给她以表诚心。 冷酷和污浊的现实终于使这个敏感而热情的艺术家患了间歇性精神错乱。1890年7月23日他自杀了,几天后身亡,享年37岁。几个月后,曾经把自己全部热爱和物力献给他的提奥也死去了。他们一同葬在奥维尔墓园。人们说:提奥是为了梵高而生的……