Hepburn, the Daughter 女儿赫本
She told us how she felt 1)pangs of emptiness at the sight of other children in their fathers’ arms, how she wished he were there so she could be like the others. As a child, she couldn’t let go of that 2)profound and natural desire. This is also why, after her divorces to both my father and my brother Luca’s father, she did all she could to ensure that we continued to enjoy a complete relationship with both.
That was my mother’s world: feelings and emotions. Yet her feelings and emotions were never quite peaceful. Someone once wrote that feelings cause us to act, whereas emotions cause us to react. Well, she has feelings for all of us, yet she was never able to let go her emotions or find peace with herself. She was truly scared on some level. The abandonment of her father was a wound that never truly healed. She never really trusted that love would stay.
这就是我母亲的世界：感情与情感。然而，这两者却从未平静过。有人曾写道：感情催生行动，而情感促使反应。母亲对我们都怀有感情，但她从来无法释放自己的情感或者说找到内心的平静。从某种程度上讲，她确实感到恐惧。她父亲遗弃她这件事是一个永远无法愈合的伤口。她从来不曾相信爱是永恒的。Hepburn, the Wife 妻子赫本
Although too young to remember my parents together, I was told of romantic evenings, of candle light and soft music.
Anyway, no one is to blame. There is only sadness when two souls cannot merge. The 3)snarling 4)void left by her father’s absence bore an equal share of the responsibility in the failure of both her marriages.
My mother loved her husbands completely, and she hung on to the marriage for as long as she could. What she didn’t do was to speak up and be heard when she needed to, and she didn’t put up healthy boundaries. Exhausted by an authoritarian mother, she wished for a world where caring and love came freely, but she had chosen two men who had to learn to cope with their feelings on their own.
Hepburn, the Mother 母亲赫本
I remember whenever she had to go to a dinner or a cocktail party, she would always say, “Oh, if only I could stay home and eat in the kitchen with you.”
I remember school days, 5)cramming for exams for which she probably 6)fretted more than I did. She would test me before bed and again in the morning, waking up with the sort of sleepy head only adults enjoy.
I remember her elation at good grades, her support and positiveness for the “not so good ones.”
I remember sleepovers on weekends, when we would chat with the lights out. We would talk about feelings and plans and people and things, but in that way that is specific to that darkness, like two souls suspended.
I close my eyes and remember, through the nose, her scent: powdery, 7)elegant, safe, strong, the scent of unconditional love. I look down and see her 8)delicate hands, their skin so thin I can faintly see their veins, her nails round, soft, and clear. They 9)caressed me, they walked me to school, and I held on to them when I was scared. Oh, how I miss them!
我闭上眼睛，仍能闻到她的气息：粉扑的香味，优雅、安全、坚强，以及一种无条件的爱的气息。我低下头，看见她那双精致的手。那是如此的纤瘦，我几乎能看见那手上的脉络。她的指甲圆润而柔软干净。这双手曾爱抚我，护送我上学。当我感到恐惧时，我曾紧握着它们。噢，我是多么怀念这双手啊!Hepburn’s Dream My mother’s dream was always to be a 10)prima ballerina.
No matter how hard she had trained her most important and formative years had passed and could not be recaptured. The war had been tough on her, and poor nutrition had 11)impaired some of her muscular growth and development. Besides, she was too tall for any male dancer of the era. My mother simply couldn’t compete with the other dancers who had received proper training as well as proper 12)sustenance during the war years. The war had stolen her dream. She remembered going back to her room that day and “just wanting to die.” The dream that had kept her hope alive all those years had just 13)vanished.
但不管她训练多么刻苦，最关键的塑型时期还是过去了，而且无法重来。战争让她受尽苦头。营养上的不足削弱了她肌肉的生长和发育。除此之外，在那个时代，对于任何一个男芭蕾舞演员来讲，她都长得太高了。而且，母亲完全无法与其他那些接受过正规训练并在战争年代能得到足够粮食补给的舞者竞争。战争粉碎了她的梦想。她记得那天回到房里时，她觉得自己“只想死”。那个多年来为她点燃希望之火的梦想破灭了。Hepburn, the Actress My mother’s acting career was a second choice, a 14)default choice. But the rules were the same as in ballet: hard wok, discipline and professionalism. “Less is more” was at the core of my mother’s basic “look” philosophy. Style is a word we often use, for a multitude of purposes. In the case of my mother it was the extension of an inner beauty 15)reinforced by a life of discipline, respect for the other, and hope in humanity. She didn’t go with the trends, didn’t reinvent herself every season. She loved fashion but kept it as a tool to 16)compliment her look.
When she appeared, her clothes didn’t scream out, “Look at me!” but, “This is me … no better than you.” And she truly believed in that. She didn’t see herself as anything special or unusual, which is why she worked so hard and was always pleasant and professional. Her style was only an extension of who she was, the person we all admired, because down deep we knew that what we saw was not just clever packaging but an honest and 100 percent genuine human being.
当她出现在公众面前，她的衣着不会像是在尖叫“看看我！”， 而像是在说“这就是我……其实并不比你好。”她深深地相信着这一点。 她不认为自己特别或与众不同。因此，她努力工作着，而且总是投入并感到愉快。她的风格只是她个人的外延——一个我们都欣赏的人， 因为我们深知我们所看到的赫本不是只有着精美外在包装的人，而是一个诚实的、百分百真实的人。Hepburn and UNICEF Although she was never an ardent follower of any formal religion, my mother’s own faith 17)endured throughout her life: her faith in love, her faith in the miracle of nature, and her faith in the goodness of life. She honoured this second chance at life at every opportunity that presented itself and most of all at the end of her life, through her work for UNICEF. Sometimes a near-death experience can free us of the 18)shackles that life slowly trains us to wear. We come to realize what’s worth the sweat and what isn’t. Although she had no memory of her childhood near-death experience, the knowledge of it, coupled with the fertile ground of an already self-effacing nature, were the roots of the humility that graced her entire life. After having helped to feed millions of children, there she was: unable to eat, herself. To allow time for her to heal, they had to put her on 19)TPN (total parenteral nutrition). She had described to us the basic corn and rice flour meal that UNICEF provides the millions starving in those camps. We had also seen photos of the children in Africa who, on the verge of death, are put on an 20)IV drip because of severe 21)dehydration.
She was now one of them.
而她现在也成为他们的一分子了。My mother had a secret. I don’t think she would mind my saying it. We see things much more clearly…after. So here it is, the great secret. She was sad. Not that life treated her badly, and therefore she was sad. Life was tough but good. My mother was sad because of what she saw happening to the children of this world. She never forgot watching those Somali families as they waited calmly and quietly in line for a turn that many never got. How hurt had she been by the sight of children dying in their mother’s arms? How had she slept at night, knowing that what was being done was not enough, that what could be done was limited and couldn’t undo the relentless growing roots of injustice and war? I think we all made her a little bit sad. Yes, you did as well as I. Not because we were bad, but because we couldn’t help. If she hadn’t done the work for UNICEF at the end of her life, I wouldn’t be so sure. I’ve now done some work for the children and I’m sad too. I think if you got the full picture, you would be sad too. Don’t worry, you’ll smile as well. A smile is the perfection of laughter. And you may cry a little too. But crying is good for your eyes and for your soul. It beautifies.
母亲有个秘密我认为母亲不会怪我这么说。在为联合国儿童基金会服务后，我们看事情变得更清晰了。所以现在，我要告诉大家她的秘密。 母亲那时很伤心。 不是因为生活亏待了她。生活虽然艰苦，但是很美好。她伤心是因为她目睹了发生在世上的孩子身上的事。她永远不会忘记索马里的人们安静地排队等待领取食物的机会，但很多人都等不到这个机会。看见孩子死在妈妈的臂弯里，她又是何等的伤心啊？当知道我们所做的仍然不够，能做到的又是如此的有限，更无法消除不公平和战争的不断滋长的根源，晚上她又怎能安睡？我认为，我们所有人都让她感到一点点的哀伤。没错，你和我都让她感到有点沮丧。不是因为我们是坏人，而是因为我们都帮不上忙。如果她没有在生命最后阶段为联合国儿童基金会工作，我不会如此的肯定。因为我现在也在为那些孩子工作，而我也感到悲伤。我想，如果你了解整个情况，你也会因此伤心。 别担心，你也会微笑的。除了欢笑，你也会微笑。你也可能会哭泣。但眼泪将洗净你的双眼和灵魂，让你美丽。
1) pang [pAN] n. 剧痛，悲痛
2) profound [prE5faund] adj. 意义深远的
3) snarling [snB:liN] adj. 纠缠的
4) void [vCid] n. 空虚，惆怅
5) cram (up) 死记硬背，临时抱佛脚
6) fretted [fretid] adj. 焦躁的
7) elegant [5eli^Ent] adj. 文雅的，端庄的
8) delicate [5delikit] adj. 精巧的，精致的
9) caress [kE5res] v. 抚爱
10) prima ballerina 首席芭蕾舞女演员
11) impair [im5pZE] v. 削弱
12) susteance [5sQstinEns] n. 食物，生计
13) vanish [5vAniF] v. 消失
14) default [di5fC:lt] n. 默认，缺省
15) reinforce [7ri:in5fC:s] v. 加强
16) compliment [5kCmplimEnt] v. 称赞
17) endure [in5djuE] v. 维持
18) shackle [5FAkl] n. 镣铐，桎梏
19) TPN (total parenteral nutrition) 全肠外营养治疗
20) IV intravenous [7intrE5vi:nEs] adj. 静脉内的
21) dehydration [7di:hai5dreiFEn] n. 脱水