Harry Potter was rejected. So were Bella and Edward. If authors J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer hadn't kept trying with publisher after publisher, we'd all have missed out on some great adventures.
Life is about going for things. And when we do, rejection is always a possibility.
Big or Small, Rejection Affects Us All
Rejection doesn't have to be about the big stuff like not getting into your top college, or not getting asked to prom[班级舞会]. Everyday situations can lead to feelings of rejection, too, like if your joke didn't get a laugh, if no one remembered to save you a seat at the lunch table, or if the person you really like talks to everyone but you.
But being rejected doesn't mean someone isn't liked, valued, or important. It just means that one time, in one situation, with one person, things didn't work out.
Rejection hurts. But it's impossible to avoid it altogether. People who become too afraid of rejection might hold back from going after something they want. Sure, they avoid rejection, but they're also 100% guaranteed to miss out on what they want but won't try for.
How to Cope
The better we get at dealing with rejection, the less it affects us. So how can you build that ability to cope? Here are some ideas:
Coping well with rejection involves working with two things: how you feel and what you think.
Let's start with feelings: If you get rejected, acknowledge[承认] it to yourself. Don't try to brush off[刷掉，漠视] the hurt or pretend it's not painful. Instead of thinking “I shouldn't feel this way,” think about how normal it is to feel like you do, given your situation.
Notice how intense your feelings are. Did this rejection upset you a lot? Or just a little? Cry if you want to—it's a natural way to release emotion.
Now, move on to name what you're feeling. For example: “I feel really disappointed that I didn't get chosen for the school play. I wanted it so badly, and I tried so hard. I feel left out because my friends made it and I didn't.”
If you want, tell someone else what happened and how you feel about it. Pick someone who will listen and be supportive.
When you're dealing with a painful emotion like rejection, it's easy to get caught up in the bad feeling. But dwelling on[老是想着] the negative[消极的] stuff can feel like living the experience over and over again. Not only does it keep hurting, it becomes harder to get past the rejection.
So admit how you feel but don't dwell on it. Avoid talking or thinking about it nonstop. Why? Negative thinking influences our expectations and how we act. It certainly doesn't inspire a person to try again.
被拒绝之后…… Rejection and How to Handle It