随着人们渐渐老去,是什么让他们能继续工作,继续去爱?当格兰特研究的对象们纷纷退休,韦兰特已经追踪研究他们有25年了,至此,他已经找到了可预测人们健康老去(包括身体和心理两个方面)的七个主要因素。采用成熟的心理防御机制是一大因素,其他因素则包括:教育、稳定的婚姻、不吸烟、不酗酒、适当运动和健康的体重。在106名哈佛研究对象中,50岁时,符合上述5至6个因素的人之中有一半在80岁时过得“健康而快乐”,只有7.5%的人过得“悲惨而病弱”。与此同时,50岁时,上述因素中只满足3个或更少的,到80岁时,无一人过得“健康快乐”。
Vaillant’s other main interest was the power of relationships. “It is social 31)aptitude,” he writes, “not intellectual brilliance or parental social class that leads to successful aging.” Warm connections are necessary—and if not found in a mother or father they can come from siblings, friends, or mentors. The men’s relationships at age 47, he found, predicted late-life adjustment better than any other 32)variable, except defenses. Good sibling relationships seem especially powerful: 93 percent of the men who were thriving at age 65 had been close to a brother or sister when younger. In an interview in the March 2008 newsletter to the Grant Study subjects, Vaillant was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?” Vaillant’s response: “That the only thing that really matters in life is your relationships to other people.”
韦兰特的另一个主要兴趣是人际关系的力量。“社交能力”,他写道,“比智力才华或父母的社会地位更能决定老年的幸福。”让人感到温暖的人际关系是必需的——如果得不到父母的关爱,那么还可以从兄弟姐妹、朋友、导师等那里获得关爱。韦兰特发现,除了看“防御机制”,一个男人在47岁时的人际关系比其他任何变量更能预见其未来的生活是否幸福。良好的兄弟姐妹关系的作用似乎特别强大:65岁时生活健康幸福的男人中93%有一个关系密切的姐妹或兄弟。2008年3月发给格兰特研究对象的通讯快报的访谈报道中,韦兰特被问到,“你从格兰特研究的对象们身上学到了什么?”他的回答是:“人生中真正重要的事情是你和他人的关系。”
The bookstore shelves are lined with titles about “happiness”, such as 33)Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment and 34)The How of Happiness. But what does it mean, really, to be happier? Of course, happiness scientists have come up with all kinds of straightforward and actionable findings: That money does little to make us happier once our basic needs are met; that marriage and faith lead to happiness (or it could be that happy people are more likely to be married and spiritual); that35)temperamental “36)set points” for happiness—a 37)predisposition to stay at a certain level of happiness—account for a large, but not overwhelming, percentage of our well-being. Perhaps, I thought, the key to the good life lies not in rules to follow, nor problems to avoid, but in an engaged humility, an earnest acceptance of life’s pains and promises.
书店货架上摆放着各种各样有关“幸福”的书籍,例如《更快乐:哈佛最受欢迎的一堂课》和《快乐之道》。但是,生活得更幸福到底指的是什么?当然,研究幸福的科学家们得出了各种各样简单而可操作的结论:当基本需求得到满足时,金钱并不能让我们更快乐;婚姻和信仰可让人更快乐(也可能是快乐的人更容易步入婚姻的殿堂和有精神信仰);那些脾性方面的快乐“基点”——使一个人的快乐感维持在某个程度的癖性——在很大程度上(但并非绝对)决定我们幸福与否。而在我看来,或许美好生活的“关键”并不在于遵循某种标准,也不在于避免各种问题,而在于抱持一种谦卑而认真的态度去面对人生的痛苦与希望。
